Ease Your Loved One’s Daily Care Routine

Respect. Understand that your loved one may be embarrassed about needing help with their personal care. Respect their privacy and personal space. Ask permission when you touch them. Be gentle and tell them what you’re doing, step by step. 

Simplicity. Someone with Alzheimer’s will have an increasingly hard time following instructions, so make things simple. Break a task down into steps and give no more than one or two specific instructions at a time. 

Flexibility. Your loved one will probably have good days and bad days, so be prepared to adjust. If cooperation is difficult, consider whether it’s necessary to get a certain task accomplished in the moment or if you can try again later. Their interests and abilities will change as time goes on. Check back in on your daily schedule every so often to make sure it still works for both of you.

Tips for Daily Tasks

These general rules can be applied to each of your daily tasks to make the care routine easier.

Eating. Mealtime can be full of challenges for someone with Alzheimer’s. They may forget to eat, or forget that they’ve just eaten. They may be overwhelmed by choices and not remember what they like or don’t like. Their sense of taste and smell can change, and so can their appetite. As time goes on, they may not recognize food, and the physical act of chewing and swallowing can be hard. 

• Have them eat at the same time and in the same place every day.
• Limit distractions if your loved one gets confused. Use simple table linens and dishes that make the food stand out. But mealtimes can also be a good opportunity for socializing, and eating with other people can help keep them on task. 
• Give them choices, but stay away from open-ended questions like “What do you want to drink?” 
• Adaptive utensils, like a large-handled spoon, can help your loved one feed themselves as long as possible. Give them bite-sized portions and finger foods. 
• Simplify mealtime by buying premade items, keeping good nutrition in mind. A meal delivery service may be a good option, especially if your loved one still lives alone. 
• Try not to stress if they make a mess. To limit spills, use cups with lids, and put dishes on a non-slip surface. A bib and a plastic sheet on the floor will make cleanup easier. 
• Don’t turn eating into a battle. If a meal isn’t going well, stop and try again later. If your loved one forgets they’ve eaten and keeps asking for more, try serving more frequent, smaller meals, or offer healthy snacks. 

Bathing. It’s not unusual for someone with Alzheimer’s to become uncooperative about bathing. They may find it scary or uncomfortable, or be embarrassed about someone helping them. 

• Schedule bathing for whatever time of day is normal for your loved one. 
• Let them handle it themselves as long as possible. You can help with safety measures like grab bars, a shower seat, and non-slip surfaces. Always check the temperature, especially if they’ve run the water themselves. 
• When they need help, give them control over choices like whether they take a bath or a shower. 
• Being naked in front of you may be difficult for your loved one. Do what you can to make them comfortable, whether that’s wrapping them in a towel before they get in the tub or draping a towel over them while they’re bathing. 
• Simplify the process by setting out supplies ahead of time. Try a hand-held shower wand. Sew a pocket into a washcloth to hold a bar of soap or use a nylon sponge to make sudsing easier.
• Have a plan if your loved one becomes agitated. You might play music, sing together, or distract them with conversation. 
• Adjust your expectations. Maybe they only need to bathe two or three times a week, with spot cleaning in between. Hair washing can be even less often. Try a sponge bath or no-rinse body wash.
• You may find bathing is best handled by a home health aide.

Dressing. Getting dressed can signal to your loved one that it’s time to go out, time to exercise, or time for bed. Items that are loose-fitting, comfortable, and easy to use will smooth this daily task.

• Give them a choice between a couple of outfits. You may need to pare down their wardrobe and put away items that aren’t appropriate for daily wear. A full closet can be confusing.
• Lay out the pieces of their outfit in the order they need to put them on. Give them one instruction at a time. 
• Look for clothing with features like elastic waistbands, hook-and-loop fasteners, and large zipper pulls. Tops that open in the front are easier to manage than pullovers. Get sturdy, non-slip shoes you don’t have to tie. 
• It’s not unusual for someone with dementia to want to wear the same outfit every day. Buy duplicates of favorite items so you always have a clean option. 
• If the outfit they choose is mismatched, or it has too many or too few layers, let it go. Just make sure they’re dressed appropriately for the weather.

Dental care. Tooth and gum problems can cause mouth pain and lead to infections and eating problems.

• Look for products that are easier to use, like an angled or large-handled toothbrush or one that gets in between the teeth, instead of floss.
• Try brushing alongside your loved one so they can mirror your actions, or hold your hand over theirs and help them make the right motion.
• If you need to do the brushing yourself, try a long-handled brush or electric toothbrush.

Grooming. Your loved one may feel better if they look like they always have, so try to keep up their usual standard of hair care and other grooming. 

• Use their normal personal care products. Familiar scents can be soothing. 
• Get safer tools, like an electric shaver or nail file.
• Find a hairdresser who will come to you if trips to the salon become stressful.

Toilet use. Accidents are common among people with Alzheimer’s disease, and many become incontinent. Sometimes there’s a medical problem that can be addressed, like a urinary tract infection or a side effect of a medication. But they may simply forget where the bathroom is or how to manage their clothing. They may not be able to respond quickly enough when they have to go, or stop being able to recognize the urge.

• Put toileting on the schedule. Ask your loved one after meals or every couple of hours if they need to go. A reminder may be all they need for a while.
• Make it easy to find the bathroom by leaving the door open or putting a picture of a toilet on the door. Have them dress in clothing they can handle themselves, like elastic-waist pants.
• Be mindful of safety. Install grab bars or a raised seat. Clear any obstacles and use nightlights or motion-activated lights. Consider a portable toilet or urinal for nighttime.
• This is another task that requires a balance between privacy and safety. Ask your loved one if they need help before you take charge. 
• Accept that accidents will happen. Try not to make the person you’re caring for feel worse about it. 
• Waterproof mattress pads and absorbent underwear can make managing accidents easier. 

Communication and Cooperation

Your loved one may not always cooperate with their personal care. They may get agitated when you try to get them to do something, especially if you push. Part of the problem is a breakdown in communication skills as Alzheimer’s progresses. They may not be able to express what they’re feeling or find the right words.

For more effective communication:

• Stay calm. Keep your tone gentle and reassuring. 
• Speak slowly and clearly, and maintain eye contact.
• Be patient and give them time to respond. Resist the urge to interrupt or finish their sentence.
• Use gestures to illustrate what you’re saying. If you model a task, like folding a towel, they may be able to follow you. 
• Pay attention to their body language, and ask them to point or use gestures, too.
• Some people with Alzheimer’s have an easier time reading than understanding speech, so try writing notes.