Stephen Box, 45, a health and wellness coach in Suwanee, GA, credited his wife, Marclyn, for helping him shed 80 pounds. But at the beginning, he said, she was more of a hindrance than help.
“Initially, she would make pointed comments if I did something that she didn’t think was healthy, like take a large serving of food,” he said. “It backfired: I’d do things like go get McDonald’s and sit in my car and eat it before I went home.”
After about a month, Box shared his concerns with Marclyn. She changed her behavior right away and focused on what she could do to best help her husband. In Box’s case, it meant that she took over the cooking. “I always hated vegetables, so Marclyn decided she’d learn new, tasty ways to prepare them,” he said.
Over the next several months, Box lost 40 pounds. “I never followed a very restrictive diet, and I never cut out fast food,” he said. “I learned to eat things in moderation and make slightly smarter choices.” Here, Marclyn was invaluable. Instead of a triple cheeseburger and super-size fries, for example, she’d suggest Box eat a single cheeseburger, a small fry, and a salad.
Even better? “Marclyn made me feel like the food choices were my idea, and then she’d praise me for my healthy habits,” said Box. “It made me feel so good about myself and kept me motivated.”
Countless studies have shown that a friend or loved one can motivate you and help you adopt healthy eating habits to lose weight. A 2020 study presented at the European Society of Cardiology, for example, found that weight loss was most successful in heart attack survivors when their partner joined them in their diet. In fact, people with a supportive spouse were almost three times as likely to successfully lose weight, compared to those who struggled solo.
“Social support is important for people who want to make healthier eating habits, so that you don’t feel like you’re in it alone,” said Kimberly Snodgrass, RDN, LD, FAND, a registered dietitian nutritionist in Dearborn Heights, MI, and a spokesperson for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics. “If you have someone to talk to, encourage you, and understand you, it makes your lifestyle change so much easier.”
The Power of a Team Approach
One of Box’s biggest struggles was dining out socially. Most of his friends didn’t have healthy eating habits, and they would question him if he ordered a salad, or declined that second (or third) beer. “Marclyn would do things like squeeze my hand and whisper, ‘I’m so proud of you for ordering that salad,’ and then order something healthy herself, so I didn’t feel so alone,” recalled Box. “It made me feel like we were in it to win it as a team, together.”
Another tough area was grocery shopping. Box didn’t trust himself to always make healthy choices at the supermarket. Marclyn offered to temporarily take over this chore, too. “The fact that she controlled what was in the house made my weight loss efforts so much easier,” admitted Box. “If I had a craving for chips, I couldn’t just raid the pantry. I’d have to put on my coat, go out to the car, and drive to the store. And of course, most of the time I didn’t do that. It was too much work.”
Although the couple didn’t shop together, they made a point to try to cook with one another as much as possible. “We’d do recipe challenges, where we tried to make as healthy a version of our favorite meals as possible,” said Box. One example: nachos with veggies such as tomatoes, onions, and corn, topped with low-fat feta instead of high-calorie queso. They also took several online cooking classes together. “We did one where we had to make our own pizza dough, and we took the same recipe and used whole-wheat flour,” Box said. “Rather than cheese and pepperoni, we used acorn squash, red onions, tomatoes, and low-fat feta cheese. It had half the calories and was just as delicious. It was also fun, because it was a project we could do together.”
Making It a Family Affair
Box was fortunate that he had his wife on board from the get-go. But if your family turns up their nose at healthy eating, there are a few things you can do to help get them on board, advised Snodgrass. This includes:
Shop together. “My family and I start off by looking for new recipes,” said Snodgrass. “Then my daughters go with me to the local fruit market. They pick fruits and vegetables they like, as well as new ones that they want to try. It makes it fun. If you incorporate the family into your recipe finding/grocery shopping trip, you feel like you have the whole team on board.”
Make it fun. If you’ve got kids, make faces or shapes with your food. “I got my youngest daughter to eat fruit when I arranged it in the shape of a face; grapesfor eyes, a strawberry for a nose, and orange slices for the mouth,” said Snodgrass.
Eat breakfast and dinner together as a family. A 2023 study published in the journal Pediatric Obesity found that families who ate together at breakfast and/or dinner at least three times a week were less likely to have kids who were overweight or obese.
Host a healthy potluck. It can be hard to hang out with friends who normally don’t eat healthily. One way to socialize without temptation is to host a healthy potluck, suggested Box. “We’ve done this, where we ask all our friends to bring their favorite nutritious recipe,” he said. “It’s a way to experience foods that you normally wouldn’t try. I got hooked on oven-baked kale chips this way. I never would have eaten them on my own.”
If you’ve tried all of the above and still find it a struggle to get family to go along, you’ll have to turn to others outside your inner circle for support, said Snodgrass. “Your support system at that point may be a good friend or neighbor who’s also trying to have a healthier lifestyle,” she said. You can also seek out a support system online. You can join a Facebook group, for example, that focuses on ways to make healthier lifestyle changes a part of everyday life, Snodgrass advised. You may also want to seek out the services of a registered dietitian or nutritionist. You can find one at www.eatright.org.
But, of course, it’ll definitely give you that extra push to have your family or friends involved. If you can get loved ones on board, you’ll all learn healthy habits that can last you for life. Box lost over 80 pounds in 2011 with his wife, weight that he’s kept off for more than a decade. But several years ago, the tables were turned. “Marclyn learned that she had a gluten intolerance and had to make a lot of changes in her diet,” he said. “Thankfully, we still had the tools to help her adapt. She was there for me when I needed her – and I was so happy that in this situation, I could be there for her, too.”
Show Sources
Photo Credit: iStock/Getty Images
SOURCES:
Stephen Box, 45, health and wellness coach, Suwanee, GA.
Kimberly Snodgrass, RDN, LD, FAND, registered dietitian nutritionist, Dearborn Heights, MI; spokesperson, Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics.
Pediatric Obesity: “Cross-Sectional and Longitudinal Associations Between Family Meals Frequency and Children’s Overweight/Obesity in Families at High Risk of Type 2 Diabetes: The Feel4Diabetes Study.”
European Society of Cardiology: “Spouses Shed More Pounds Together Than Alone.”
