By Maggie Courier, as told to Rachel Reiff Ellis
When I was diagnosed with relapsing multiple sclerosis (RMS) 26 years ago, I had a career I wasn't planning on stopping. I was back at work two weeks after learning about my new disease, all puffed up on steroids but ready to go. It was what I needed to feel better — to be active and have work to do.
Stress can really fan the flames of RMS symptoms. RMS is an inflammatory disease, one where your immune system turns against itself and starts destroying the insulation that surrounds your nerves. This causes symptoms that flare up in relapses and then go into remission. Stress raises inflammation in your body, making symptoms worse or causing a flare.
I’ve learned in my 26 years with this disease that proactively reducing stress goes a long way in improving your quality of life.
I needed to work to feel most like myself, but I learned in those early years of RMS that the type of work I was doing — marketing and PR — was contributing to my stress because of its unpredictable nature. I’m a planner. Having a set schedule was important to my mental health.
So I made a change to support my stress levels. I became a teacher.
Learning What Stress Looks Like for Me
A teaching schedule gave me the stability I needed. High schools aren’t known for being low-stress environments, to put it mildly, but I loved it. So I was determined to make it work.
I used a cane, and later a walker, to get around more easily and conserve my energy. I planned my time strategically to maximize my mental and physical bandwidth throughout the day.
In addition to teaching classes, I was in charge of the school newspaper and yearbook. I was busy. The school day consisted of seven periods, but two of those were planning periods. So for those two 50-minute respites, I intentionally spent time breathing, relaxing, and clearing my mind. I worked to front load more of my classes in the morning, when I had the most energy.
I learned how to work with students and teach them ownership of what they were doing, so I was in more of a supervisory role, there if they needed me. It was still work, but didn’t require me to be up and moving all the time.
Stress Relief Strategies
Just knowing you need to lower your stress isn't enough. You need to figure out what causes your stress in the first place. For me, the thought of not doing things I was good at, like teaching, stressed me out more than leaving would’ve.
I learned to adapt my days so I could continue doing what brings me satisfaction and a sense of purpose. There are tools that can help. Some of them are simple but have a big impact.
For example, I like to wear pretty things like necklaces. But I can't operate the clasp because my hands don't work the way I need them to. (Do you know how aggravating that is?) But I found an adaptive tool that makes it possible for me to put on my jewelry. It’s a small thing, but it makes a big difference in my independence and outlook.
I also learned the restorative power of tai chi when I was teaching. I took a class once a week, which helped relax me. These days I take a tai chi class online through the Multiple Sclerosis Foundation that’s adapted for doing it while seated, or a combination of seated and standing.
The Power of Connection
I’ve been involved with the work of the Multiple Sclerosis Foundation for over 20 years, initially as a staff member and now as a volunteer. These days, I head up the We Care, We Call program.
People with MS can call 800-MS-FOCUS and connect with volunteers who listen, offer support, and share resources.
On these calls, I let people know right away that I also have MS, so they know I understand at a level someone else may not. My goal isn’t to solve their problems but to be an ear. Sometimes just talking is what you need to get your stress out. Sometimes what people need is a laugh. Laughter relieves stress.
I tell people they can call me every week if they want. We talk for 15 minutes, giggle, talk about the weather, or talk about something serious. Whatever they need. I've spoken to people in their 20s, and I’ve spoken to people in their 60s and 70s who’ve had MS for 20 years.
When I talk to callers through We Care We Call, I remind them that MS isn’t your life. It’s one part of your life. You have to take care of you — all of you — not just the MS.
Recently, I talked to someone in her early 60s who lives with MS. She said she felt useless. I asked what she did before her diagnosis. It turns out she was a chef. I asked if she had family or friends nearby she could invite over and cook for once or twice a month. She realized that was an easy “yes.” She sounded happier just talking about it.
A lot of people get a diagnosis, and it consumes them. They don't see a way to have time or ability for the things they love. But you have to find a way to decompress and do the things that bring you contentment. Even if it's 10 minutes a day of deep breathing, it works.
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SOURCE:
Maggie Courier, Fort Lauderdale, Florida; volunteer, MS Foundation We Care, We Call Program.
