Tips to Boost Intimacy and Sex Life After Breast Cancer Treatment

Breast cancer diagnosis and treatment take a physical, mental, and emotional toll that can have a big impact on your sex life. It’s normal to deal with a dip in sexual desire as a result. But there are ways to create intimacy and enjoy sex again.

Tell your doctor about symptoms that get in the way of sex and intimacy. Some concerns, like vaginal dryness for example, may have a simple solution. Lubricants or medicines for menopause symptoms could help. More complex problems might be better suited for specialized therapists trained to help people work through emotional barriers to a healthy sex life.

Successful sexual intimacy doesn’t have to involve intercourse. Take time to try different types of sensual touching, whether you’re receiving it from a partner or touching yourself. You may find pleasure in bathing or showering with your partner or giving and receiving massages.

Sex may look very different for you now. In order to figure out what works best, it’s important to be open and honest with your partner. Share what feels good, what you like, and what is uncomfortable. Invite your partner to do the same.

Pelvic floor exercises require you to relax and tighten the muscles you use to start and stop urine flow. This can increase blood flow to the area. It might also help you relax your pelvic area during sex, in case anxiety or discomfort is causing you to tense up.

Not everyone is comfortable talking about their sex life, but when you share with others in a similar situation, you might feel less alone. You could also learn what has worked for other women who may have more experience with these challenges. Support groups are available both in person and online. 

Physical activity improves your mood by releasing hormones called endorphins. Some research shows it can actually increase feelings of arousal, both right after exercise and also slowly over time if you exercise regularly. Ask your doctor for safe ways to move your body to reap these benefits.

Make the setting just right to get you in the mood. That could mean special music, lighting, or even scents. Try aromatherapy oils or scented candles to create the perfect atmosphere.

Using a vibrator or touching yourself before or during sex can help you get and stay aroused. Fantasizing or sending suggestive messages to your partner can also help you get in the mood.

Only you can decide what you need and want when it comes to sex. You may not be ready to spend energy on that part of your life, and that’s OK. If you need time, take time. There’s no “right” way to be sexual. Just know: You are not the only one who has faced these problems. And help is available.