How to Speak Up When You're Not Happy With Your Treatment Plan

Your doctor recommended your treatment plan because they believe it's the best course of action. But something about it doesn't feel right. Maybe you have new or worsening symptoms, or you just don't feel like you're getting better. You want to talk about your concerns, but you're worried about how they'll respond. You might be especially hesitant to speak up if you're a woman, person of color, or you have a low income. But your voice matters. Here's how to advocate for yourself.

Most insurance plans, hospitals, and other health care facilities have a patient bill of rights. It outlines what you can expect from your health care providers. These include the right to understand and take part in your treatment decisions, the right to respect and nondiscrimination, and the right to have your health information kept private. Ask for a copy.

Jot down everything you want to cover with your doctor. This will help you stay focused and calm during your appointment. List any symptoms, including those that are new, getting worse, or not improving. Add side effects from medications you're taking. If you researched your treatment online and saw something you didn't understand or want to know more about, write that down, too. Your doctor may not have time to answer every single question, so decide ahead of time which ones you need answered and which can wait until the next appointment.

Living with breast cancer can be challenging. It's OK to lean on others for support, even when talking to your doctor. Consider asking a family member or friend to attend your appointment. They can ask any questions you may forget about or bring up ones you didn't even think about asking. They can also write down information you may need to remember later. If you don't have anyone who can help, ask if your hospital has a patient advocate. You can search for patient advocacy groups online, too.

A good doctor-patient relationship is built on trust and open communication. You may be uncomfortable telling your doctor that you're unhappy with your treatment plan. But it's important to remember they can't fix something they don't know about. Use "I" statements to focus on your experience. You could say something like, "I have some concerns about my treatment plan, but it's hard for me to discuss." Approach the conversation from a teammate perspective. You could say, "Side effects make it hard for me to do XYZ. What can we do about that?"

Remember, you have a right to understand and take part in decisions about your treatment. If you disagree with your doctor or feel like they're not taking your concerns seriously, it's OK to push back. Again, use "I" statements to stand your ground without appearing defensive. You could say, "I'm worried that we're not communicating well. Here's why I feel that way," "Can you help me understand?" or "Why are these treatments necessary?"

This is when you suggest a different path if your symptoms, side effects, and other concerns don't get better on the current treatment plan. It's also known as a stepwise approach. You could ask your doctor, "If we try this treatment and it doesn't work, can we move forward with XYZ?" Your doctor won't agree to anything they consider risky or dangerous, but they should at least consider your ideas.

If you try these tips and don't feel like you're getting anywhere, it's time to consider a second opinion. Another doctor may or may not agree with your current treatment plan. Either way, you'll be armed with more information to make the best decision about your health care. Ask your insurer if your plan covers second opinions. Then, tell your doctor you'd like to get a second opinion. You could say something like, "I'd like to get a second opinion. Would you refer me to another oncologist?" If that feels uncomfortable, ask your insurance provider or hospital for a list of breast oncologists.

Ask your current doctor for a copy of your medical records. They should be able to send them directly to the doctor you’re seeing for a second opinion. You may have to pay a fee. Call to make sure the second doctor’s office has your records before the appointment. Write down any questions and concerns. Ask what tests or treatments they recommend and any risks that come with them. You can bring a friend or family member to this appointment, too, if it makes you feel more comfortable.

If the second doctor disagrees with your treatment plan, make sure you understand why. Make a list of the pros and cons of each treatment option. Which makes the most sense to you? Which doctor makes you feel more comfortable and seen? Talk to a trusted friend or caregiver for another perspective. If the second doctor agrees with your current treatment plan but you still don't feel it's right for you, consider seeking a third opinion.