When you’re dealing with major depressive disorder (MDD), the thought of talking about what you’re going through with someone else may sound scary. But opening up and letting someone you trust in is a critical part of both your clinical treatment and your self-care.
Here’s a look at the benefits of talking about your MDD, who to talk to, and how to do it.
Why Talk About It?
Talking about your problems truly makes you feel better, and there’s science to prove it. In a study, researchers at UCLA asked volunteers to talk about their problems and negative feelings while getting a brainMRI. The scans showed that once people put their feelings into words, the brain didn’t have such an alarmed reaction to those feelings. Talking about it calmed the brain down.
This might help explain not only why talk therapy works but also why confiding in friends, family, or support groups can make you feel so much better.
Talking to a Therapist
Talk therapy, also called psychotherapy, is a standard and effective treatment for depression. This treatment refers to several kinds of therapies that all involve sitting down to talk with a trained mental health professional.
Talk therapy could help you:
- See issues in your life that contribute to your depression and figure out whether you can change them
- Understand how your own thinking might add to your feelings of hopelessness and learn how to change it
- Take back control of your life
- Feel pleasure again
Your doctor might recommend talk therapy in addition to your antidepressant. Some research shows that combining the two works better than either one alone.
Leaning on Loved Ones
It’s not only mental health professionals who can help you manage and recover from depression. Research shows that having a support system, which might include friends, family members, and other people you like and trust, can offer major mental health benefits.
Leaning on others can help you manage the everyday challenges of living with depression and help you feel less isolated and alone. Loneliness and isolation can only make mental health problems worse.
On the other hand, keeping your depression from the people who are closest to you can put unnecessary strain on your relationships. They might not understand, or even be hurt, if you seem distant, withdrawn, or indifferent. For these reasons, talking about it can help both you and them feel better.
How to Open Up About Your Depression
While you might agree that there could be benefits to opening up to loved ones about your depression, that may not make it any easier to do it.
Here are some tips.
First, consider who you want to open up to. You don’t have to talk to everyone about your depression. Think of the people in your life who:
- Listen to you through good and bad times
- Respect your privacy and don’t share things about you with others
- Don’t criticize or judge when you share your feelings
- Want you to be happy and healthy
- You feel you can trust
Next, think about what you’ll say. You might want to make sure you include information, such as:
- How important this conversation is
- How difficult it may be for you
- When you’d like advice vs. when you’d simply like your friend to listen
- A couple of specific examples that clearly illustrate the scope of the problem
- A couple of specific examples of things that may have triggered or worsened your depression
- Your symptoms, and how depression makes you feel and behave, especially behaviors they might have noticed and not understood
While your carefully chosen support network wants the best for you, they may not know how to help. Let them know how they can support you. You might offer ideas like:
- Listen when I need to talk
- Give me encouragement
- Give me a hug
- Help me find a therapist
- Help me get to an appointment or check in to make sure I kept my appointment
- Listen to my goals for getting better and check in with me about my progress
- Check on me to see how I am doing
Because you’ve chosen people you love and trust, you should have positive expectations about this conversation. But, just to protect yourself, make sure you prepare yourself to answer questions that might sound hurtful or insensitive, such as:
- Why didn’t you tell me sooner?
- Everyone gets sad. How is this any different?
- Does therapy or medicine really work?
Just in case, it’s a good idea to have an exit plan in case the conversation doesn’t go as expected or upsets you. For example, if the conversation gets too overwhelming, you might say something like, “Thank you for talking with me. Let’s take a break and talk more about this later.”
Join a Support Group
Your friends and family can be helpful because they know you and love you. But other people with depression can help because they are in the same boat. You might find a different kind of comfort in talking with peers with depression than you find in talking with your therapist or loved ones.
Support groups can:
- Be a safe space where you feel welcome and accepted just as you are
- Connect you with people who can help you because they have had similar experiences
- Help you feel less alone when you see that others have similar struggles, feelings, and challenges
- Show you real examples of recovery
- Help you see your strengths and good qualities
Give you the chance to help others, which can also help you feel better
Find What Works for You
Putting your feelings into words, whether with a therapist, loved one, or a peer in the same situation, can go a long way toward helping you feel better. You may benefit from all of these types of interactions, or you may like one more than the others. Find out which one works best for you.
Show Sources
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SOURCES:
Psychological Science: “Putting feelings into words: affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli.”
Mayo Clinic: “Depression (major depressive disorder).”
American Psychological Association: “Overcoming depression: How psychologists help with depressive disorders,” “Depression: How psychotherapy and other treatments can help people recover.”
World Psychiatry: “Adding psychotherapy to antidepressant medication in depression and anxiety disorders: a meta-analysis.”
Electronic Physician: “The correlation of social support with mental health: A meta-analysis.”
Mental Health First Aid: “The Importance of Having a Support Network.”
Young Minds: “Tips for Talking to Your Friends About Your Mental Health.”
Saint Luke’s: “The Importance of Building a Support Network for Your Mental Health.”
Military Health System: “Talking to Your Family and Friends About Your Depression.”
