Raising children who are born less than a year apart, who are sometimes referred to as "Irish twins," has its pros and cons.
While the early years will probably be a whirlwind, "with practical adjustments, a strong support system, and a focus on the long-term rewards, most parents of 'Irish twins’ thrive and cherish the experience," says Daniel Ganjian, MD, a pediatrician at Providence Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica, California.
Why Is the Term "Irish Twins" Controversial?
"Irish twins" is a slang term for siblings who are born close together. They aren't actual twins.
The phrase "Irish twins" began hundreds of years ago. At the time, it was a way to mock Irish immigrants in the U.S. The false belief was that all Irish people had lots of babies because they were Catholic and didn't use birth control.
This stereotype made life harder for Irish people.
Today, "Irish twins" is used casually, not as an insult. But if you're worried that it might offend someone, you can describe babies born less than a year apart as "close in age."
Benefits of Raising Kids Close in Age
The perks of having two children spaced this close together can include:
A tight connection. "While there might be some initial jealousy, having siblings so close in age often leads to a very strong bond," Ganjian says. They may also become playmates sooner than other siblings since they'll share the same developmental stages and interests.
One stage at a time. Your kids will be babies at the same time. They'll be toddlers together and, later, will start preschool right after each other. "Handling similar developmental challenges all at the same time, rather than in a divided way, may make it easier for you. It also shortens the slog of getting through them," says Gail Saltz, MD, an associate professor of psychiatry at New York Presbyterian Hospital, Weill-Cornell School of Medicine.
More time to yourself in the long run. Once your kids are older, they'll become independent around the same time. That means you may find yourself with more free time sooner than parents who have children with larger age gaps, Ganjian says.
What Are the Challenges of Raising Close-in-Age Siblings?
Experts often suggest waiting at least 18 months after you give birth before you get pregnant again. That's because "there are increased risks to a mother's health, to fetus health, and to mom's mental health when babies are spaced less than a year," Saltz says.
Being pregnant and nursing a baby can use up a lot of important nutrients in your body, like iron and folate. That can affect both you and your growing baby. For instance, if you get pregnant within six months of giving birth, you're more likely to have anemia (low iron). And your baby is at higher risk of:
- Premature birth
- Low birth weight
- Health concerns or birth defects
Having two kids less than a year apart can also come with some unique parenting issues, like:
The early years may be more intense. Those first few years, "you'll be managing two babies or toddlers with similar needs for feeding, changing, napping, and attention" Ganjian says. Expect some sleepless nights.
Daily challenges are doubled. "Everything from doctor's appointments to grocery shopping, and even just getting out the door, can feel like a major undertaking with two very young children," Ganjian says. Locking in a daily routine will be key.
Your budget will need some extra TLC. Diapers. Clothes. Child care. Nursing or feeding supplies. All these costs will go up. And don't forget that you'll need to factor in double the cost of bigger-ticket items like strollers, car seats, and future education goals.
Sibling rivalry can be intense. Although close-in-age siblings have a chance to forge a close lifelong bond, "they may also be more competitive with close age, and this can be challenging," Saltz says.
6 Tips for Raising Kids Close in Age
When you're raising siblings who are close in age, it's a good idea to:
- Have a routine.
Like all kids, close-in-age siblings thrive when they know what will happen next. A routine brings both structure and comfort into their day. Set times for naps, feeding, bedtime, playtime, and other activities. Remember to be flexible – your kids' needs will change as they grow.
- Accept help.
Getting support from others can benefit your whole family, not just you. Reach out to loved ones, friends, and neighbors to ask for help with specific tasks, whether that's running an errand, babysitting your kids so you can power nap, or picking up dinner. You might even keep an updated list of things you could use help with. That way, you'll be ready when someone asks, "Is there anything I can do?"
- Squash sibling rivalry.
Siblings who are close in age may argue over everything from the same toy to your attention. Help them understand that "they're not in a race, that you prize them each as individuals, and that being happy for their sibling's victories as well as their own will help them feel good about themselves," Saltz says.
- Make one-on-one time a habit.
"Many parents find themselves adopting a 'divide and conquer' approach, especially if there are two parents," says Ganjian. For instance, you might be in charge of bath time with one child while another caregiver reads to the other. This special one-on-one time will also help strengthen the bond you have with each child.
- Find your community.
Connecting with other parents of close-in-age siblings can be a great way to share experiences, advice, and emotional support. "Knowing you're not alone can be incredibly reassuring," Ganjian says. Ask your pediatrician for tips on finding a local parents' group.
- Take it day by day.
Remember, raising kids is a marathon, not a sprint. That means that you'll need to pace yourself. "It can be helpful to take things one day, or even one hour, at a time," Ganjian says. And don't forget to celebrate even the smallest victories.
Takeaways
"Irish twins" aren't real twins, but siblings born within a year of each other. They can have a close bond with each other, and you may find it easier in some ways to raise two kids so close in age. Make sure to ask for help, connect with other parents, and spend one-on-one time with each of your kids so they know how special they are to you.
FAQs About ‘Irish Twins’
Do "Irish twins" look alike?
Close-in-age siblings might share some family traits, but they won't look exactly alike. That's because each baby is born through a different pregnancy. Identical twins, who do look exactly alike, are born at the same time, when a fertilized egg splits in two.
Is being born 18 months apart considered "Irish twins"?
"Irish twins" isn't a medical term, but a phrase to describe siblings born less than 12 months apart. Usually, doctors advise waiting at least 18 to 24 months after you give birth before having another baby. That can reduce your risk of health issues for you and your child. But everyone's pregnancy timing is different.
How common are "Irish twins"?
Since "Irish twins" isn't a medical term, it's hard to tell how common they are. But one study found that one-third of babies were born within 18 months of each other. The researchers found that sometimes, this happens by accident, while other parents plan to have kids very close in age.
