If your child has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, much of your focus may be spent on their behavior at school. You've probably spent a lot of time working with their teachers to make sure that your child stays focused, gets along with their classmates, and is able to learn during the school day.
But your child's ADHD symptoms don't disappear once the school bell rings. They're only in school for about seven hours a day. The rest of the time, they're at home, with their family, or out and about in the community. You'll need some ways to manage ADHD symptoms beyond the school day.
How Does ADHD Show Up at Home?
At school, your child may make careless mistakes or talk out of turn in class. At home, symptoms of their ADHD may show up a little differently. Here are some behaviors you may notice:
Your child constantly loses things. Whether it's socks or lunchboxes, your kid with ADHD may frequently misplace items.
They have trouble with instructions. You may tell them to go upstairs and get dressed, only to find them 10 minutes later in bed on their cellphone with only their shorts on. It's easy for kids with ADHD to get distracted by something else.
Your kid is always on the move. It's hard to get them to sit down for a family dinner or to get ready for bed.
Forgetfulness. They may forget their homework at school, or their schoolwork at home.
Impulsive behaviors. They run across the street without checking for traffic or climb up to the top of the swing set even though you've repeatedly told them not to.
They have trouble with siblings and friends. Kids with ADHD often find it hard to wait their turn or share. They also may lose their temper more quickly and have poor self-control. All of this can make it hard for them to get along with siblings and keep friendships. You may find that your child is rarely invited for a playdate, and when it does happen, it usually ends in disaster.
Tips for Managing Your Child With ADHD at Home
It can be a challenge to manage your child's ADHD at home, especially during vacation breaks and on weekends. But there are things you can do to make your home more of a haven for them (and, by extension, for the rest of your family as well).
Establish structure. Kids with ADHD do very well with structure and routine. If they have set activities and tasks, there's less time for them to get bored. They also know what to expect. Try to keep bedtime, wake up time, bath time, and meals at the same time every day, even on weekends.
Sign them up for after-school activities. Research shows that kids with ADHD who take part in them are less likely to have severe ADHD symptoms, and report fewer absences from school. One good option is a martial arts class, which research suggests can boost executive function and attention.
Manage screen time. Technology can suck any kid in, but it's often harder for children with ADHD to unplug. Keep cellphones, tablets, and other computers in a common area such as your family room. You'll be better able to track how much time they spend online and the content they watch. Don't allow electronic devices in their room at night, and turn them off at least an hour before bed to help promote better sleep.
Pick the right chores. It's important for kids with ADHD to pitch in around the house and do chores. It can boost their self-esteem and help them focus. But make sure that you pick the right ones. If they have too many steps, your child may get overwhelmed. Good options include:
- Feeding the family pet
- Walking the dog on a specific route
- Vacuuming a specific room
- Setting and clearing the table. Write a list of all the items they need – placemats, napkins, silverware, glasses, and plates – to help them remember what to do.
- Loading and unloading the dishwasher. Show them all the steps so that they know exactly where to put everything.
- Gathering the family's laundry. Have a hamper for each family member. Your child can collect all the clothes and bring them to the laundry room.
- Making their bed. Take a picture, so your child knows what you expect their bed to look like.
- Picking up toys. Be as specific as possible. Write down a checklist of items. For example, "Put all your stuffed animals in your blue basket."
Can a Healthy Lifestyle Help Manage ADHD Symptoms?
Exercise is a great way for your child with ADHD to burn off energy, especially after a long day at school. Research shows that it can help manage symptoms of ADHD, too. In general, aim for about 60 minutes a day. Smaller bursts of shorter activity are good, too.
If possible, try to take their workout outdoors. You can go for a family walk or bike ride. Studies have found that kids with ADHD who spend time in nature see improvement in their symptoms.
A healthy diet is important, too. Research shows that kids with ADHD eat fewer fruits, vegetables, and grains, and are more likely to skip breakfast and go to fast-food restaurants. They also consume more sugar, including candy and soft drinks. It's thought that some kids with ADHD may be more sensitive to sugary foods than kids without ADHD, so try to limit them as much as possible.
Also, make sure there are plenty of protein-rich foods like low-fat dairy, chicken, eggs, and nuts in your child's diet. They help to prevent spikes in blood sugar levels that can make it harder for your child to concentrate. Foods rich in omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids, like fatty fish, soybeans, walnuts, flaxseeds, tofu, and avocado, also help support your child's brain function. They may also help manage some of your child's symptoms of ADHD.
Since kids with ADHD often have trouble getting enough rest, good sleep hygiene is a must. You should:
- Keep a regular bedtime and wake-up time.
- Develop a nighttime ritual. Before bed, your child should do an activity to help relax them, like reading with a parent.
- Make sure your child's room is cool, dark, and quiet. Blackout shades and relaxing sound machines may help.
- Talk to your doctor. In some cases, a very small dose of your child's stimulant medication may help them fall asleep. There are other over-the-counter supplements, or prescription drugs, your pediatrician may suggest that you try.
Manage the School Day at Home
When you have a kid with ADHD, everything school-related is a challenge: how to get them out the door in the morning, handle their homework, and make sure that they're in bed at a reasonable hour. Here are some ways to help:
Plan ahead. Do as much as you can with your child the night before: Make their lunch, organize their backpack, and pick out what they plan to wear.
Provide a checklist. If your child is younger, use pictures for what you expect. For example, when they get up, they need to get dressed, brush their teeth, eat breakfast, then get their backpack for school. Older kids and teens can rely on a written checklist. Provide different checklists for when they get home.
Create a homework space. It doesn't matter if it's your kitchen table, a desk in their room, or even a floor mat. It needs to be a place where you can supervise as needed but that has minimal distractions. It should have the following items:
- School supplies like paper, binders, calculators, rulers, pencils, pens, and erasers. This way, your child doesn't have to get up to ask you for things.
- Color-coded folders to help your child remember what goes where
- A timer for work breaks
- Soothing background music to improve concentration
You may have to experiment a bit to figure out what works best. Some kids, for example, do better if they walk around while they memorize or learn something. You also may need to work with them to make homework more manageable. If they have a big assignment, like a research paper, for example, show them how to divide the project into smaller chunks.
Talk to your doctor about a booster dose. If your child takes ADHD medication such as a stimulant, it may wear off by the time they get home from school. Ask their pediatrician if they could benefit from a short-acting extended dose, to help them get homework done in the early evening, or on the weekend.
How ADHD Impacts Your Family at Home
If your child has ADHD, it can cause a lot of strain on the rest of the family. Siblings may feel like the entire household revolves around the kid with ADHD. They may struggle with feelings of anger and resentment, while they also worry about their parents and their affected siblings. They may even become perfectionists and overcompensate by taking on more chores to try to make life easier for everyone else.
Even though much of the focus as a family may be on how to manage your child's ADHD symptoms at home, it's important to focus on their siblings, too. Find ways to spend one-on-one time with the other children in the household. It can be as short as a five-minute cuddle alone before they go to bed, or an evening out, or even a vacation alone together. It's also important to find activities that you can all do as a family, whether it's playing a board game or going out for an activity everyone likes, such as bowling.
It's a good idea to make a family calendar and display it somewhere it's easy to see, like on the refrigerator. This outlines everyone's scheduled activities, making it clear that everyone in the house is a priority. It will also help to keep you organized.
Finally, make some time to take care of yourself. Many caregivers of kids with ADHD report poorer mental health. One good option is to join a support group. You may also want to get evaluated for ADHD. It runs in families, but you may not know that you have it. If you are diagnosed and treated, you'll be able to be the best parent you can be.
Show Sources
Photo Credit: Moment/Getty Images
SOURCES:
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Nemours Kids Health: "Parenting a Child With ADHD (for Parents)."
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