Why Social Skills Can Be Harder for Kids With ADHD
While most children learn social cues by observing and adjusting over time, kids with ADHD often miss the small but important signals that help them know how to act around others.
This affects family life too. It can make getting along with brothers and sisters – something that can be bumpy sometimes in all families – tough. Research shows that sibling relationships tend to involve more conflict in families with a child who has ADHD. Understanding why this happens is the first step in helping your child develop better social skills.
There are some common behaviors that can make relationships tougher for kids with ADHD:
Your child may seem distracted or not listening. It might seem like they're ignoring others when they're really having trouble focusing.
They may struggle to follow directions. They may miss key details or forget what was just said, especially during group play or classroom activities.
They're always on the go. Sitting still, waiting, or playing calmly can be challenging, whether it's during dinner, class, or playtime.
They often interrupt or blurt things out. Your child may speak out or say whatever comes to mind, not realizing how it affects others around them.
Taking turns and sharing can be tough. Waiting their turn or giving others a chance, even when they know the rules, can be difficult.
They may have strong emotional outbursts. Your child might lose their temper quickly or have big emotional reactions.
They may behave in ways that seem younger than their age. This makes it harder to relate to their peers.
Understanding Your Child's ADHD
If you're feeling overwhelmed or frustrated by your child's behavior, know you're not alone. Many parents don't realize at first that what looks like misbehavior might actually be signs of ADHD. It's normal to feel stressed at times. You might wonder if you did something wrong. But know that your child's ADHD isn't caused by anything you did. What matters most is how you respond: Your understanding and support are key to helping your child improve.
Once your child is diagnosed with ADHD, an important part of helping them build better relationship skills is understanding how ADHD affects their interactions with others.
You can begin by learning how ADHD impacts their attention, impulse control, and social behavior. Some children may struggle with listening, while others may have trouble managing emotions or following social cues.
Being involved in your child's treatment also plays a role in helping them grow. Follow the guidance your child's health care provider recommends. Be sure that you and your child go to therapy sessions regularly.
Once you have a clearer understanding of your child's needs, you can begin helping them develop social skills in everyday moments at home.
Helping Your Child With ADHD Build Social Skills
Kids with ADHD often need extra support learning how to connect with others. But social skills can be taught and practiced – and home is a great place to start.
Here are some tips to make the process easier:
Focus on one skill at a time. Start with a specific area your child struggles with, like waiting their turn or showing interest in others. Explain the behavior clearly and why it matters. Set a small, achievable goal, such as saying hello to a classmate.
Use everyday moments for social coaching. Kids with ADHD may miss social cues, so try offering quick guidance right when it happens. You might say, "Did you notice your friend looked upset when you interrupted?" You can also use books, TV shows, or real-life examples to point out inappropriate behavior and how others react through body language and facial expressions.
Make role-playing part of learning. Role-playing can help your child practice challenging social situations, like taking turns or coping with emotions when things don't go their way. Practicing these responses at home can build your child's confidence before they use them with others.
Choose the right social settings. Small, low-pressure environments work best. Set up one-on-one or small group play dates with children who show strong social skills and can be good role models.
Give them chances to practice. Practice at home matters, but real growth happens with other children. Look for social activities where your child can take part and try out new skills with their peers.
More Tips for Improving Relationships and ADHD Behavior
The way you respond to your child's behavior every day can shape how they see themselves and connect to others. These tips may help with managing ADHD symptoms while also helping your child build greater self-awareness and social understanding:
- Praise and reward good behavior.
- Give clear, simple instructions.
- Use nonverbal cues to maintain focus.
- Make routines for homework and daily tasks.
As you actively build the foundation for healthy relationships for your child, these everyday strategies can make a big difference in how you guide and support your child.
What Not to Do When Supporting Your Child's Relationship Skills
It's not always easy to know how to help your child with ADHD build healthy relationships. And even if you have the best intentions, some approaches can get in the way of progress. Here are a few things to avoid as you help develop your child's relationship skills:
Don't isolate your child. Feeling rejected or left out by peers can be especially painful for kids with ADHD. You may feel an urge to pull back from social activities to avoid stress or conflict. But it's essential for children with ADHD to stay engaged with others and take part in social activities to develop their social skills.
Since ADHD can affect relationships with siblings and parents, it can help to strengthen those bonds if you involve your child in family activities without singling them out.
Don't focus on mistakes. Kids with ADHD can be extra-sensitive to criticism. They can often feel like they're always making mistakes or constantly falling short. Putting too much focus on their mistakes can hurt their confidence. Instead of pointing out every error, guide them with patience and encourage their efforts. This helps them feel supported instead of punished and builds their self-esteem.
It's important to remind your child that they're valued for who they are, not just how they behave. By offering positive reinforcement and a loving relationship, you help them feel secure and capable of growing.
How to Get More Support for Your Child's Relationship Skills
Sometimes your child may need extra support to strengthen their relationship skills. Here are a few ways to find more resources to draw on:
Work with your child's teachers and school staff. Talk with your child's teachers about the possibility of an IEP (individualized education plan) or 504 plan to give your child specialized support. Stay in regular contact with teachers to keep watch on your child's progress and discuss how they can improve.
Consider social skills training. Social skills programs can help your child improve their communication, problem solving, and emotional control. Through role-playing, exercises, and games, these programs give your child the chance to practice key skills in real-life situations.
Connect with support groups. You can check the websites of ADHD organizations such as Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) and the Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA) to find resources, treatment updates, and connect with other parents of kids with ADHD. These sites have directories to help you find both online and local, in-person support groups.
Show Sources
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SOURCES:
Mayo Clinic: "5 Tips for managing ADHD in children," "Helping a child with ADHD develop social skills," "Parenting a child, teen with ADHD."
Nemours Kids Health: "Parenting a Child With ADHD."
Journal of Attention Disorders: "Sibling relationships among children with ADHD."
Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews: "Social skills training for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in children aged 5 to 18 years."
