When you're the parent of a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, every day can bring something unexpected. Talking out of turn, arguing with their siblings, losing things, and having trouble paying attention are just some of the behaviors that go along with this common childhood developmental disorder.
Kids act in these ways because ADHD affects their executive functions – the brain activities that help with skills like organization, planning, impulse control, and attention. Without these functions, kids may struggle to finish tasks, manage their time, and control their behaviors and impulses. That's where routines can help.
Along with medications and therapy, routines are an important part of managing ADHD. Adding order and structure to your child's day by following an established schedule can help them feel more in control and make life easier for everyone in the family.
The Importance of Structure and Routine
Kids with ADHD thrive on structure and consistency. When their days are unstructured and they don't know what's going to happen next, they can get so overwhelmed that they freeze up or act out. A daily routine makes kids with ADHD feel more comfortable and in control, because they always know what to expect and there aren't any surprises.
Having structure to the day also benefits children's executive function skills. The predictability of a routine helps to control impulsivity and improve focus.
How Routines Prevent Conflicts
Because their brain matures differently, kids with ADHD don't respond well to sudden changes. They may get upset when you introduce something new, especially when that new thing is something they don't like to do, like homework or showering. The situation can quickly escalate into an argument or behavior problem when kids are asked to do something they didn't expect or want.
Following a routine reduces pushback and arguments because the day is planned and there are no surprises. When you ask your child to take a shower at 7:30 p.m., they expect it because they have done the same thing every day. Adding a reward after the task, like reading a book together once they're showered and ready for bed, can be another incentive to reinforce positive behaviors.
Practical Tips for Creating Routines and Putting Them in Place
A good routine includes clearly defined tasks, what times to do those tasks, and how to complete them. Your child knows ahead of time what you expect from them – for example, that they'll do homework as soon as they get home from school. And they have the tools they need to get the work done.
Here are tips to help you establish routines for your child:
Write up a daily schedule. Post it where everyone can see it, such as on the fridge. Outline each step in the process. The schedule for a school-age child might look like this:
- 7 a.m. Wake up
- 7:10 a.m. Get washed, brush teeth and hair, get dressed
- 7:30 a.m. Eat breakfast
- 8 a.m. Take medicine and check backpack
- 8:15 a.m. Leave for school
- 3 p.m. Do homework
- 4 p.m. Free time/exercise
- 5:30 p.m. Dinner
- 6:30 p.m. Family activity
- 8 p.m. Wind down time – screens off
- 8:30 p.m. Bedtime
Plan in advance. Doing things on the fly, like letting your child pick out their clothes on a school morning, can lead to stress and arguments. Make the day go smoother by getting everything ready the night before. Lay out their clothes. Discuss breakfast choices. Make sure all homework is finished. And have their backpack packed and ready to go.
Establish rules and limits. Set up household rules that everyone needs to follow. Those rules can cover things like behaviors, homework, playing with friends, and doing chores. Have very clear limits for how long your child can play video games, watch TV, or use other electronic devices each day. Establish what times they can use their screens and when screen time is over.
Schedule breaks. Tasks that take a long time, like homework, can overwhelm a child with ADHD. Divide each task into smaller, more manageable chunks with a break at the end. Your child might read one chapter or write one page of an essay and then go outside and play for 15 minutes. Or give them a five-minute break once every 25 minutes. Use tools like sticky notes and a timer to keep them progressing and on track.
Use reminder tools. Alarms, apps, white boards, sticky notes, and planners can be helpful tools to keep your child on schedule.
Adopt visual cues. Kids with ADHD sometimes struggle to store and retrieve information from their memory. Visual cues link information to images, making it easier for children to retrieve it. For example, you might color code folders or notebooks for different subjects or topics. Or you could use a visual timer such as an hourglass or countdown clock to keep your child on schedule. Another example of a visual cue is drawing pictures to help them solve math problems.
Add mindfulness to each day. Mindfulness involves becoming aware of one's thoughts and focusing on the present moment. It can help improve children's attention and self-regulation and can reduce stress. Set aside five or 10 minutes each day for your child to sit in a quiet place and breathe deeply or meditate. Activities like journaling and drawing are other ways to focus and quiet their mind.
Set aside time for exercise. Kids with ADHD get fidgety when they sit still for too long. They'll have an easier time focusing once they've burned off any pent-up energy. Research finds that exercise alters the same brain chemicals and structures as prescription ADHD medicines. The result is less hyperactivity and better focus. Aerobic activities such as walking, bike riding, and swimming are especially helpful. Try to schedule at least a few minutes each day for your child to exercise or play sports.
Get into a sleep routine. Up to half of people with ADHD have trouble sleeping. A bedtime routine calms their brain activity to make it easier for them to fall asleep. You might get your child ready for sleep by reading to them, listening to relaxing music, giving them a warm bath, and turning the lights down low.
Keep routines going year-round. Being out of school in the summertime can throw off your family's normal routine. Try to stay on schedule as much as possible. That includes waking up, going to bed, eating, and taking their medicines at the same time each day as they did during the school year. But be flexible. Your child also needs the freedom to just have fun. Let them plan some of their summertime activities and adjust the schedule from time to time.
Teach routine self-management. You can set up and manage daily routines at first, but helping your child learn how to do it themselves is an important step toward independence. Gradually let your child take a more active role in managing their days. Research finds that children who are able to manage their own routines are more self-sufficient later in life.
Things That Derail Routines and How to Stop Them
Any routine can be derailed by unexpected changes, like a winter storm that cancels school or an illness in the family. Whenever the schedule gets disrupted, be honest and open with your child about what happened. Let them know what you're going to do as a result. Be patient and understanding as they adjust to the change.
Distractions are another problem that can pop up. A friend calls. The dog starts barking. Their favorite show is on TV. Try to limit distractions as much as possible. Keep the area where they do homework quiet, well-organized, and clutter-free. When your child does get distracted, gently redirect them back to the task.
Routines are structured, but they shouldn't be so rigid that every second of the day is planned and kids have no opportunities for fun and self-expression. A schedule that's too strict will get boring very quickly. Let your child have some freedom to add in activities they enjoy.
Review your routine often. Talk with your child about which parts are working and which ones aren't. Make changes as needed to better suit your child's needs.
Show Sources
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SOURCES:
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